Now, that time's gone by
by gala-granger
Summary: Anakin, actually Lord Vader, is remembering… “Now, that time has gone by, I can't stop remembering.”


**Title:** Now, that time's gone by

**Summary:** Anakin (actually Lord Vader) is remembering… "Now, that time has gone by, I can't stop remembering."

**Author:** Gala-Granger

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters, phrases, etc., are mine. They are property of George Lucas, the owner of all Star Wars movies.

**Language:** English.

**Category:** Angst/Drama.

**Beta:** Mosca.

_Where is Padme? Is she alright?_

_It seems that in your anger, you killed her._

_I? I couldn't. She were alive, I felt it, she were alive! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

I still remember that day. As if it was yesterday. So clear, so clear that sometimes I think it's still happening. It was a terrible day, maybe the worst day of my life. Did it really happen? Sometimes I wish it was just a bad dream, a nightmare, but it isn't. It is as true as I am. And the worst thing is that I did it. I killed her. She was there, so much alive, and I was so angry that I just couldn't control myself. Why did I do it? Why did I kill her? Did I cry for help? No, I didn't. I didn't care at that moment. If only I hadn't been so angry, she would still be alive. She would still be by my side. She was mine. She knew it, I knew it, Obi-Wan knew it. But he took her from me. She cheated on me. I trusted her, I told her everything and still she cheated on me. She had some fun with my mentor. She did it with my tutor. My Master. I trusted them, both. They seemed to care. They seemed to worry about me. Did they?

_I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was nothing but a learner. Now I am the Master._

_Only a Master of evil, Darth._

_Your powers are weak, old man._

_You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine._

_You should not have come back._

"_Ben? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

That was it. He let himself die. And in that moment a boy screamed. He seemed to feel sorry for Obi-Wan's death, but he called him Ben, not Obi-Wan. Who was that boy? I started remembering. Padme…

_What's wrong with you? You're trembling…_

_Ani, something wonderful has happened… I'm pregnant_

_That's wonderful… This is the happiest day of my life…_

_What are we going to do?_

I killed him. I killed her. I killed them. And they were the only good I had. Now, that time has gone by, I can't stop remembering. They weren't the only ones I killed. Jedis, the keepers of the peace. I thought I was doing good. No. Younglings, I killed younglings. They were little boys, like I once was.

_They're too many. What are we going to do?_

With hate. With anger. With fear.

_You've got fear, you've got anger, but you don't use them._

No compassion. No pity. No mercy.

_The twice the pride, the double they fall._

Now, there's no one left. I will never know if what Obi-Wan said was right. I will never know if Padme did cheat on me. Now, that time has gone by, I can't stop remembering the words she said…

_Don't be afraid._

_I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life._

_What are you talking about?_

_I love you._

_You love me? I thought that we ha decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives._

_I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly, deeply love you and before we die I wanted you to know._

She really loved me. And Obi-Wan, I had his trust. Now, that he's gone, I can't stop remembering what he told me before I turned…

_I have trained you since you were a little boy, I have taught you everything I know and you have become a far greater Jedi than I ever hoped to be._

He was so hurt. He was my Master. He really cared about me. I remember the words he said before he left me suffering.

_I HATE YOU!_

_You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you._

He even said it was his fault.

_I have failed you Anakin, I have failed you._

_Anakin, chancellor Palpatine is evil!_

_From my point of view the Jedi are evil!_

And that's what I thought at that moment. Now I realize that this Empire is ending. I can see that soon it will brake.

_The Force is strong on this one._

Why? Why did I do it? Now there's nothing left. My fortune's gone. Everything's gone. Still I have to obey the Emperor. What's worse? I don't know. Why did I believe him? Why did I fall?

_Is it possible to learn this power?_

_Not from a Jedi._

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Hi!

How are you? Hope you are fine. Did you like my fic? Hope you did. Let's say that this happens between Episode IV and Episode V, actually it happens when lord Vader gets hit on the ship and he "disappears".

If I have some mistakes, please forgive me! This is the third fic I write in English, so I'm still not that good.

Thanks to Mosca for correcting the more obvious mistakes.

Bye!

And remember

_May the Force be with us all._


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